(Good) sex is great! And yes, it can be mind-blowing. But are there things that are better than sex? Germans think so!
Good sex is hard to beat. It can lead to mental as well as physical climaxes satisfy us on pretty much all levels and it can also be a good workout. But to be honest, there are a few things that can at least keep up, if not outperform. Below are 9 things that Germans think are better than sex!
- 1. Quitting a shitty job
- 2. Getting some sound sleep
- 3. A great meal when you are hungry
- 4. Taking a hot shower and jumping into bed after a productive day knowing it’s the weekend ( I have a day off tomorrow!)
- 5. Something you were dreading getting cancelled
- 6. Not having to worry if you can afford something
- 7. A really good book
- 8. A nice long thorough back scratching
- 9. Letting out a giant fart you have been holding
1. Quitting a shitty job
Definitely quitting one you’ve been doing for 5 years and with no notice. Just walking out because you decided then and there you couldn’t take anymore. God that weight coming off your shoulders
I had been working a high stress job where I was putting in 70-80 hours a week. Getting a new job was hard and needed the pay to keep supporting my family. Finally giving my notice and being done felt great. But weirdly, the greatest feeling was walking into a Lidl on Tuesday around 2pm after working every day and weekend for 6 months with absolutely nothing to do. Unbelievable release.
That realization when you walk out the door that you’ve been shallow breathing for six months and can now breathe properly.
2. Getting some sound sleep
Getting some sound sleep is criminally underrated. Insomniacs everywhere agree. Sex is good, great, amazing, but getting that random good night’s sleep without medication makes some Germany very happy. To them it’s like a miracle.
As someone who has been dealing with random sleep-maintenance insomnia for about a week now and is rapidly going insane, I couldn’t agree more. Screw sex, I just want to not wake up 17 times a night.
Most people would relate to this especially if they have been working odd hours in a stressful environment. The thoughts that keep recurring are “I need some rest and sleep”. Getting a good night’s sleep for these Germans is therefore a welcomed relief.
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3. A great meal when you are hungry
I don’t know man but I love food and sometimes a nice meal will go a long way improving my mood and overall wellbeing.
So Germans are just like everyone else! There was a study conducted that surveyed almost 12,000 people between 18 and 55 years old from all over the world, and 60 percent of respondents said that eating is as pleasurable as sex. In fact, half of women would actually choose food over sex if given the option.
4. Taking a hot shower and jumping into bed after a productive day knowing it’s the weekend ( I have a day off tomorrow!)
Germans work hard and enjoy their weekend and time off from work. It’s no wonder some of them would prefer the relief of knowing they have a day off than have sex.
Yes! I can have sex whenever…I want to rest noooowwww
How it feels when you get off and you don’t have to go right back in for a day or two. Even better when you know it’s a long weekend!
5. Something you were dreading getting cancelled
Like a call with your boss that you aren’t ready for? You were stressed at work and you plan everything the night before. You are going to tell my boss off and quit the next day. Then the next morning you get a call saying the meeting has been cancelled.
I got a call from the regional manager telling me my boss was fired and I would be taking over his responsibilities on a temporary basis. I ended up getting that position permanently. I attribute that meeting being canceled to all of my professional success over the last decade.
In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin. As long as it doesn’t get rescheduled, then the dread is drawn out.
6. Not having to worry if you can afford something
But worrying the slightly more expensive thing is actually worth the extra cost for the quality and then thinking if it’d be a noticeable difference and then having a crisis about the value of things.
Financial stability. Loading up the grocery cart and just going to the checkout. Being more worried if the cashier is going to put my laundry detergent with my bread again and smash it, rather than meticulously watching every item to make sure I have enough money.
I think there are only a few people on this world who don’t worry about being able to afford something. But being able to afford the basics without a dent on your month is very relieving, like a new washing machine.
During the COVID lockdowns, there were a lot of people who had to worry about living expenses.
Going from “about to ask my parents for money” to “I can manage this for a few months,” in an instant was better than sex!
For those who were lucky to get their unemployment benefits processed on time, the relief was something that they enjoyed. Being able to go shopping again, was for them better than sex.
When you realize you still have money left in the bank at the end of the week that is accumulating. The weight lifted off your shoulders knowing you are not in an overdraft constantly is huge.
7. A really good book
Stress can be a major factor in unhappiness, but reading helps relieve some tension: you can reduce your stress by reading for just six minutes at a time. Imagine how amazing you’d feel if you read for six hours; or six days straight.
From your mood to your stress level, if you’ve noticed that curling up with a book makes everything seem, well, better, you’re not alone. Germans have figured it out!
8. A nice long thorough back scratching
Germans believe that getting a long thorough back scratching is better than sex. We have to agree with them. Most people spend on hour-long back scratch sessions.
Most people find back scratching very pleasurable. The touch and strokes send a signal to the brain telling us we’re getting pleasant touch.
9. Letting out a giant fart you have been holding
We were also surprised by this. After holding it in for hours you come home and let the concert begin.
Usually when I get those stomach pains due to excess air, I can only relieve it once I leave work and get to my car. Not for the lack of trying, I go to the bathroom and nothing. In my car though I can fart and it feels so good!
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