I didn’t find a dream partner on the dating app! Can I get refund?


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Online dating platforms are booming. So what does the law in Germany have to say about it? If you did not find a partner as advertised by the dating app or agency, you can ask for a refund! Find out below

So what happens if I terminate a contract with a dating agency? I’m I automatically entitled to a refund? What does the law in Germany stipulate? Read below

What does the law in Germany say about refunds from dating apps and services?

Anyone who quickly terminates a contract with a dating agency will get the money back for services that have not been provided. That was decided by the Federal Court of Justice in Karlsruhe. (Az. III ZR 169/20)

In the current case, a dating agency from Koblenz negotiated 21 partner proposals with a single senior citizen for a price of 8,330 euros. The applicant signed that she no longer had the right of withdrawal if the “main service” had been provided.

Online dating platforms are booming – and not just since Corona. Membership in online dating agencies (e.g. Parship) can, however, be revoked, decided the European Court of Justice (ECJ).


What services do dating apps and services offer?

The elderly woman canceled the contract after a week and asked for part of her money back. By then she had been offered three possible partners. The agency refused to reimburse, arguing that they had created a so-called partner depot with 21 men and thus the contract had been fulfilled.

The BGH has now confirmed a ruling by the Cologne Higher Regional Court, according to which the agency has to repay a pro rata amount of 7,139 euros, since not all partner proposals had been submitted before the revocation.

The Karlsruhe judges made it clear that the agency’s main service was not to set up a partner depot. This provision in the general terms and conditions is ineffective. It depends on the specific submission of the name and address of the partner proposals.

Are digital online services irrevocable?

The ECJ had to deal with the question of what consequences it has for the calculation of the compensation if the subject of the contract is a digital service that is not delivered on a physical data carrierConsumers cannot revoke such services under Article 16 (m) of the Consumer Protection Directive . 

Regulation is interpreted narrowly

In the specific case, this question was relevant for the personality assessment of the dating agency. The ECJ is of the opinion that services that enable the consumer to create, process or store data in digital form or to access and share such data with other users are not covered by the “exclusion of withdrawal”.

The personality test is also such a service and therefore does not fall under the exception. Therefore, according to this legal opinion, the consumer could properly revoke it, even if the test is basically a digital service.

Recovery of money already paid

If you have signed a matchmaking contract and would like to end it prematurely for certain reasons, it is important that you reverse payments that have already been made.

If you have paid the receivables by direct debit, you can reverse them directly through your bank by direct debit reversal. This is possible eight weeks from the time the account is debited. In certain cases, especially if there is an illegal claim, a chargeback can even be made over a period of 13 months. Please read my guide to direct debit chargeback.

If you transferred the claim yourself, regardless of whether it was via the agency’s debit card reader, a bank transfer that you made yourself or a pre-filled transfer slip, a debit reversal is unfortunately not possible. In such a case, go straight to your bank and describe the situation. I know many cases in which the bank was able to intervene and reverse an account debit. 

Wrong or unwanted partner suggestions

As part of the agency contract you have concluded, you have given the partner agency precise information about the person you requested. The placement agency is therefore obliged to refer you to people who meet these requirements. 

If this does not happen and partner suggestions are made for completely different types of people, or people who live too far away or who do not fit in with their leisure activities, the partner agency will not provide its contractually owed service. You then have the right to object to the claims and do not have to make any payments initially.

Why can’t I find a partner? 12 reasons why this could be

1. You are too closed

Finding a partner is not always easy and certainly not child’s play. But for it to succeed, of course you have to do your part and approach the matter with a certain openness. Maybe you haven’t found a partner yet because you’re just too closed off. Tip: give it a try with playful get-to-know evenings like Socialmatch. Further down in the article you can read what this is all about.

2. You are only at home

You come from work, go straight home and spend the evening there until you go back to work the next morning? And you don’t really get out on the weekend either and prefer to spend your free time on the couch? Unfortunately, a potential partner does not come to your home. Therefore, you should definitely go out and socialize more often to get to know new faces and to develop a larger social environment and thus more points of contact. Simply go for a drink in a bar with colleagues after work or sit down alone in a café or by the water on the weekend. So maybe someone is more daring to speak to you.

3. You have too precise ideas about your dream partner

Hair color, eye color, figure, profession, age, hobbies – have you already figured out exactly what your dream partner should look like in your head? It is good to have claims and to know what you want, but that can also prevent you from looking for a partner. After all, dream princes and princesses only exist in fairy tales, so you should perhaps lower your wishes a little and take a more open approach to finding a partner.

4. You are under too much pressure

Many can sing a song about social pressure: Why don’t you have a partner? Don’t you want to get married soon and have children? My daughter cannot find a partner! Whether at family celebrations or at work, you keep hearing such questions that put you under extreme stress and pressure. This can also affect your partner search. If you’re trying so hard to find a partner to withstand the pressures of society, it probably won’t work either. Above all, there is often fear of not finding a new partner. Try to be more relaxed and not let the pressure of your family or co-workers get to you.

5. You’re in the friend zone

You have a lot of friends, but you are having trouble finding a partner? Maybe a lot of people quickly put you in the friend zone because you are “too nice” – if that is even possible. If you find that you are interested in someone and they could be a potential partner for you, try flirting a little. So you might not be pigeonholed as a good friend.

6.You are afraid of commitment

Have you had bad experiences with one of your exes in the past and are therefore now afraid of getting involved with someone again? Often people also have problems with not finding a partner after a divorce, for example. Attaching to someone and sharing your life with that person is always a difficult step. In no case should you transfer your old relationships to the present and to a new potential partner. Be careful and take it easy, then at some point it will be easy for you to get rid of your fear of attachment.

7. You still have feelings for your ex

A common reason for not finding a partner is that someone hasn’t gotten over their ex yet. Do you still have to think about your past partner all the time, read old chat histories and dream of your shared experiences? Then you may still be in the phase where you have to process your past relationship first. It would be advisable to start the new partner search only afterwards and it would also be only fair to your new potential partner.

8.You don’t have time for a partner

You may not even realize how much time you actually spend in your job and that you don’t actually have any time for a partner. Do you know the saying “success at work, bad luck in love”? You think you are fully committed to finding a partner, but often have to cancel dates because you don’t have time? And while chatting too, do you notice that you often only answer after many hours? Maybe you are just too busy and should set clear priorities. What is your current situation and what is more important to you in the long term?

9. You are putting too much pressure on potential partners

Actually everything went well for you, you got on really well and yet you’ve somehow taken a step back? Often times, people shy away from talking too quickly about topics like family planning. I really want to celebrate my wedding with 100 guests, I want three children, two boys and a girl, and preferably in the next five years – statements like this can scare your counterpart. So maybe you should wait with such topics and use the initial time when looking for a partner to get to know each other better.

10. You are too hasty

An important aspect when looking for a partner is time! Time to get to know each other better and to discover similarities is very important so that it works later. If the spark hasn’t jumped over completely on your first date, you shouldn’t ditch him / her right away, just because you hoped it would work on the first try. Give yourself and your potential partner the chance to get to know each other and then maybe a lot more will develop than you would have expected at the beginning.

11. You don’t believe in yourself

Low self-esteem can also be the reason why you are not looking for a partner. If you do not feel attractive and comfortable in yourself, then you radiate a certain insecurity and dissatisfaction. You are then so busy with what the other person thinks of you that you don’t even notice whether he or she is actually interested. Then it can quickly lead you to believe that you don’t deserve anyone because you don’t value yourself enough. So before you go looking for a partner, you should look at your strengths and become aware of how great you are.

12. You’re sending the wrong signals

One final big reason you couldn’t find a partner is because of the signals. How do you appear to the outside world, how do you behave towards others? It is often everyday situations in which you do not even notice how passively you are behaving. On the bus, for example, you always have headphones with you, you spend your lunch break at your desk, in the café you are absorbed in a book or your laptop. Does any of these apply to you? You should try to be a little more open so that someone can speak to you, for example. This tip might be your chance for a new partnership.

Expaturm aims to help educate Expats in Germany on key issues that they will have to deal with while living in Germany by providing everything you need to know about Banking, Healthcare, Lifestyle, and Housing in Germany



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